Time is a great healer. Memories that were hard soften to reflections on blessings received and lessons learned. Perhaps that is how old people become as wise as they are.
This afternoon I drove Peter to the hospital to visit a young friend. I had an hour or so to wait, so I went to a family waiting room on the pediatrics floor, and I was not prepared for what I would see. Or maybe I was. Four mothers of patients were there, surrounded by family and friends. Some were obviously suffering as their tears and anguish were evident. After awhile, I couldn't stand to watch it anymore, and I moved to another lobby.
The thought came to mind that I personally understood the feelings of those mothers. I have sat in that very hospital in a state of shock and sorrow and worry as my four week old daughter suddenly was in critical care with no major organ systems functioning on their own. I felt the disconnect, the out of body sensation when reality becomes too overwhelming to process. I felt the gripping fear when I dared to think about what could happen and how I would deal with it. I felt the exhaustion and the worry about my two other little ones back at home. I struggled to understand the medical terms and processes and procedures. It was a swirling sea of anguish that I wished I could have avoided.
I remembered it all today, but what I didn't think of until our drive home was that today is the very anniversary of that scary day back in 1987. It has been 25 years. That baby girl is now a mother. While I can still recall the horror, much of it has softened to peaceful gratitude. Many people came to our aid back then. While expert physicians worked day and night to save our baby, our friends and family cared for our little girls and our home. They prayed for us and visited us with hugs and encouragement. They held me when the tears came weeks and months, and even years after the crisis was over.
A quarter century has come and gone since then. There are life events that I can't say I am grateful to have experienced, but I am profoundly grateful for the lessons I have learned. Maybe I'll become a wise old lady some day. I hope so, at least the wise part.
